I have to be honest with you: throughout 2015, I would internalize every conversation, every incident, every meeting with a vendor in hopes that I would later use it as material for the blog. Challenging myself to write every single day also made me more attentive to my surroundings and even a better listener. It also seemed to work because I wrote over 400 posts in a single year- managing to document an entire life changing process in the meantime.
But maybe I’ve lost this skill during this past year because I just can’t seem to find topics to write about- that’s the explanation for my prolonged frequent absences.
In fact, I’ve been racking my brain for days, trying to come back to Beyond, at the urging of those near and dear to me- but also, for the sake of my inner sanity. I am not myself if I am not writing- I’ve always known that.
It’s very challenging to write when what you’ve considered as your theme has come to its natural close. For a year, that was all about the wedding and preparations, as many of you know. I like to think I wrote about the topic differently, because I was coming from a different mindset. And I’m very thankful that people were reading, commenting, and became part of the journey.
That’s long gone, though. I’ve spent the better part of the year feeling down, while settling into a routine of work, home, and generally passing time by. I’ve tried, numerous times, to do something new, something fun, anything to get out of this rut I’ve been in, to very little success.
No one wants to read about that.
Especially not when the scene is dominated by click-bait articles or so-called bloggers who repost content that is widely available elsewhere. This is a scene that does not favor originality so of course it isn’t going to be very encouraging to someone who might come off as discontent and trying really, really hard to find her voice once more.
I did try writing about all those mixed emotions, but I seemed to come off as whiny and down-about-nothing and even over-sharing. I had challenged myself to do this daily thing once again, but failed miserably.
And while it was great that many people approached me with the advice to look on the bright side, I was (and to an extent still am) feeling confused and all jumbled up about this whole grown-up phase.
But I am not going to give up just yet. This blog is for me first and foremost (I need to remember that for later, by the way).
September has always been about new beginnings: it being the month when school, university, graduate school, and even my marriage started. So as August was coming to a close, I made a few decisions that I hope will finally bring me back to my normal self. I’m even starting to notice some of those changes taking effect.
And just like that, I’ve found a new theme for myself and this blog.