Mothers’ Day (As a Married and Childless Woman)

I will be the first to tell you that I love celebrating mothers’ day. My mother is an incredible woman who I look up to and will always be my best friend. And in the past few years, I have been blessed to also celebrate the day with my mother in law, who not only raised my husband to become the wonderful man he is today, but who welcomed me into her family with open arms from the very first day she met me.

Sure, the day has gotten extremely commercialized, but this is one of those few cases where that is fine. It is one day and it will make many mothers feel appreciated. It won’t hurt anyone (excluding the massive traffic jam we all got stuck in yesterday). So bring on the flowers, the cakes, and the gifts.

That being said, when coworkers started asking Ahmad what he had gifted me on this very occasion, I was a little bit surprised. I am not a mother nor am I planning to be one soon. And as much as I love presents, I see no point in getting feted just because I am of a childbearing age and may, at some point in the future, be the mother of his children. Why not wait until then?

I would much rather he take the time and effort to honor our mothers. He has plenty of other opportunities to celebrate me (my birthday for example). Motherhood is not something we all aspire to- and I most certainly do not want to be celebrating it if I have no reason to do so.

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This reminds me of a funny incident a few weeks back when an acquaintance of mine told me she would continue referring to me as 3arous (bride) until I have my first child. Apparently, calling me by my actual first name is frowned upon, so I have to contend with that being replaced by my relationship status.

A married woman is either a newlywed or she is a mother. There is no middle-stage: that is strictly reserved for taking care of the house and preparing yourself for motherhood. Sure, you might have a job or you might be doing what you love, but none of that truly matters. You were always meant to be someone’s mom. That is the end goal.

As I went around the workplace wishing mothers I knew a happy day, many reciprocated by their wish I celebrate with them next year.

It feels like such a knee-jerk reflex to me, that we’re so conditioned to say that, much like we say na3eeman after someone gets a haircut. We don’t really think of the scope of things or how times are really changing. We don’t think that maybe the person we’re conversing with has heard of all of things so many times and is just flat-out sick of them.

In fact, I would’ve loved if those people would have replied with a simple Thank you, and to your mother too.  End of conversation.

 

 

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