Stability, Soon…

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With the wedding being next month, our excitement levels are naturally at an all-time high. We’ve started to put finishing decorative touches on the home and even moving in some of our personal belongings.

Thinking that we’re finally going to be married is my go-to happy thought because it’s finally happening.

Months of planning and preparing (and bitching about so many different things here on the blog) are going to come through and I have no doubt in my mind the wedding will be amazing and plenty of fun.

But the wedding is one night of our lives- and as important as it is, I’m choosing not to focus all my energy on it because married life concerns me more.

We are not together because we want to re-enact the Princess finds her Prince Charming storyline in a lavish event. We are together because at the end of the day, we want to sit down in our home and enjoy each other’s company (sometimes in silence even).

I don’t know what to expect after we finally settle into our house.

I know there will be a huge shift in responsibilities and dealing with living with another person-I’ve had roommates before but we pretty much only shared the space without much interference. Having a husband is on a completely different scale. And I know that and I fully understand it. You also don’t have to tell me twice about how I need to become a master at budgeting and multitasking- and of course the housework.

But there’s a larger chunk of thought that I keep thinking about- and honestly don’t know if I can have any expectations about.

And that’s doing the things I love.

Currently, my life is on hold because I need every free moment to sort something out or recover from a hectic workday. But I’m trying to make a promise to myself that I will not abandon the things I enjoy doing (like dancing, the gym, learning languages, writing, and seeing friends) because I wear the band on my left hand.

I don’t know to what degree I’ll be able to manage but I feel like my success will influence Ahmad positively and give him that feeling that it’s okay for him to do things apart from spending all the time with me.

Because in the past two years, we have had to prioritize spending time together over everything else, but when we get married no special trips need to be made and we don’t need to feel what do right now.

Another point I keep coming back to in my thoughts is the friends issue.

Let me give you an example. Often, like today, we like to go out for drinks and enjoy some music. We end up being alone because we can’t get through to any of our friends (and the majority are abroad anyway) and that bums us out. Even though we love spending time together, it’s always great to break the monotony and have someone join us. It’s just not working out.

I try to keep positive by thinking that our home could be the perfect place to have people over. I’ve always loved being a good hostess and we like to think of throwing movie nights, board game nights, and just random hang-outs.

The question is will we actually do so? And with whom?

I don’t know and I don’t want to have any expectations in fear of ending in disappointment.

I’m just going to enjoy this upcoming month and let things run their natural course- hoping for the best.

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