What to Do About the Zaffe?

In the past, I’ve written about how much I despise the typical, traditional zaffe that you cannot avoid at almost every wedding. It was pretty much agreed upon from the get-go that we would not be hiring a troupe to parade in front of us as we made our entrance to the venue.

What we didn’t realize at the time is that the alternative is so much harder than we thought.

Of course everyone would do a zaffe because it’s just so easy to plan, the music is there, the people recognize it, the DJ has the tracks, and the schedule kind of forces itself on you.

So naturally our DJ was stumped when we said we were not going down the traditional route. He tried to make us select tracks for our entrances but they all sounded very close to what we’re trying to avoid.

I kept explaining that something with an oriental beat is just not who I am and would totally ruin how hard I’m trying to make this thing personal and he kept insisting that play anything else and people won’t know that I’m walking down the aisle. Pretty much, there goes my idea of walking towards my future husband to one of my favorite songs. Because people won’t recognize it and it doesn’t fit. 

Then we were even more stumped when it came turn to sort out Ahmad’s entrance. While the bride traditionally walks in with her father and the hand-over happens, what exactly is the groom supposed to do? Every wedding we have been to has involved the guy walking in behind a bunch of his friends and similar aged men.

We don’t know if we want to do that even though it would be a really cool touch- especially considering that Ahmad’s one of the last in his friend group to be married. But to what do we set the proceedings and how do we plan the timeline? Do we honor his Palestinian identity by choosing a traditional track or do we skip that because it would be too traditional?

And even if we knew what we wanted to do with the two parts above, what comes next? Again, when you have the zaffe crew, this is pretty straight forward with the ambiance continuing and people coming up to cheer and clap until the performers make their exit.

Do we just go ahead and greet people and/or kick off the dinner portion or do we have a little dance session? Our DJ didn’t really recommend we get people dancing then have to interrupt it so people can eat. But he didn’t offer any other alternatives either.

I never thought I could be so lost…


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