Bride Versus DJ

Call me a bridezilla, but I never even thought that I would need to compromise on the soundtrack for the wedding. I always knew exactly what songs would play at every moment, making sure that they would reflect important events and associations in our relationship.

I can’t care less if the flower arrangements aren’t up to par, but if the DJ so much as plays a single note from one of the songs on my don’t play list, I will just stand there in the middle of the dance floor staring at him, totally upset.

I love music and I know what I want.

So naturally, meeting with him was something I had been waiting for for months, and I even had my songs all sorted out: English, Spanish, French, Turkish, Greek, German, you name it. But surely not Arabic. Because I can’t dance, and I couldn’t care less about anything they sing about or the melodies they most likely stole. Plus, it would just take away from the precious time for all the other stuff.

Initally, we breezed through the songs planned for the welcome drink, the dinner, the first dance, the cake cutting, the bouquet toss, and several crowd pleasers for the dance portion of the night.

Except I was quickly brought back to reality when the DJ told me it would be impossible for anyone in this country to party without Arabic music. “You can’t disrupt the mood.”

I don’t understand why but once again, tradition is forcing itself on me and it is too strong for me to stand in its way.

So while I can’t move my hips to save my life and I sure as hell do not know how to follow through with a dabke, I had to make a compromise I wasn’t ready to make just hours ago. I fear not having a fun wedding and if that’s what makes people happy, then fine.

You won’t find me on the dance floor, but I’ll be clapping for you.

That’s not to say that he’ll get to do what he wants.

Nope, not at all, and far from it.

In fact, and despite his insistence that he has been doing this for ten years, we still had a few remarks we had to make.

• If I wanted to hear the whole song, I would’ve just plugged in my iPod. Therefore, no song played should exceed the one minute mark.
• He must match the beats because the last thing we want to see is people standing still, waiting for the next song. He must also not switch tempos and styles rapidly and leave us all hanging.
• Anything with questionable lyrics and melodies is out for the night. This includes most songs in Arabic that have come out in the past 5 years.
• Since I’m compromising by having him play things we don’t like and don’t listen to everyday, they must be old-school and instantly recognizable. Memorable inclusions are Amr Diab and Wael Kfoury from when I was a child- but nothing of their recent work.
• This is a wedding, not the World Cup. Enough said.
• Whatever is on our list has to featured in some form. We are giving him the list to make his job easier and to eliminate unwanted surprises.
• He must keep his eye on the crowd to see how they react. If no one is having fun, time to hit next.
• Don’t forget, this party is about Ahmad and I- and we should be the happiest people there.

I’m sure that if he sticks to these points, we should be the best of friends.