Wedding season is now in full swing and it’s everywhere! I dare you to try and escape it. Even logging into your social media accounts means that there’s no doubt you’ll see at least one event. Though times are tough and prices are high, that’s not stopping anyone from throwing weddings.
In fact, we have two weddings this season that are only ten days apart.
Now, I’m grateful that the brides and grooms have considered us in their invitations but being a wedding guest these days can sometimes be a hassle and you can lose sight of what’s really important. Here is a handy guide on what goes into that process.
Set aside some money just for these occasions but don’t let it break the bank.
You’ll definitely need to get the couple a wedding gift or contribute to their liste du marriage, and these things don’t run cheap at all. But you’re also going to need to account for your look for the evening, including dresses, hair and makeup, and accessories. You can always try to recycle outfits or do your own makeup but that really depends on how close you are to the couple and/or how important it is for you to be there. On the long run, the costs will pile up.
This is not about you.
You don’t like the invitations, don’t say it. You don’t like the food, don’t complain unless you get food poisoning. You can’t understand why the couple is doing X and Y instead of A and B, don’t say it. They’ve invested a lot of time and energy and money into this day and they want to do what makes them happy, so try not to ruin it with your comments. You wouldn’t want that happening to you.
Seriously, this is not about you.
Wedding photographers have the daunting task of documenting everything that went on so that the couple can relieve the big day many years down the line. The last thing they want is to find your face in a gazillion shots, as though they hired the photographer for your personal service and photoshoot. You’re so hell-bent on having one, pay for it yourself, later.
It’s also not about the food.
We were at a wedding recently where our table mates were so obviously there just for the food. They barely greeted the hosts, didn’t contribute in any shape or form to the proceedings, and were out of the door before the first dance even. But on the other hand, they were the first people after the bride and groom at the buffet and they ate from everything. It really looked like they had starved themselves just to eat there.
Basic respect goes a long way.
Don’t wear white! And even if you do, try not to overshadow the bride. I’m not at all for the princess bride theme, but just give the woman her moment, okay? She’s probably stressed and overwhelmed so don’t give her something more to worry about. You want her to remember you were there, in a good way? Try bringing her water when she needs it or warding off pesky guests as she eats.
Have (or look like you’re having) fun
So you might not be happy with your seating mates or you might hate Arabic music more than anything in the universe. Or maybe the venue was too far away. So why exactly did you show up? If you’re not willing to contribute, apologize ahead of time and don’t come. If you can’t dance, just stand and clap. Or take photos. Or socialize because small talk doesn’t hurt. You would not have been invited if your presence didn’t matter somehow so make the most out of it. As my friend said, you should only sit down at meal time or if your feet hurt.
3a2belkon is part of the process
I’ve read too many posts about how much people dread the word 3a2belik/3a2belak/3a2belkon (hoping that you would be the next person to take this step). But the more I’ve been exposed to it, the more I realize it’s just part of our culture and actually a really nice wish. Who doesn’t want to find the one they love? I mean, it’s really tough to stop all the older ladies from saying it so just go with it. Of course, unless they take it one step too far and try to set you up with someone.
Side note: thank yous are in order to my awesome bridesmaids who helped me in writing this post today by having a brainstorming session on Whatsapp all day long.