What Is a Bride?

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Sometimes I feel that certain people don’t think before they speak. You make a simple remark and they’re all over you with their helpful suggestions and advice. I write those in italics because that couldn’t be further from the truth.

I don’t know if it’s cultural or a wedding industry thing but it seems to me that these vendors love to feed on a woman’s insecurities and pointing out all the flaws in her physical appearance. And I really, really, really want them to stop talking to me because I don’t need this nor will I ever agree with what they have to say.

A bride should look nothing less than a princess on her wedding day. Raise your hand if you’ve heard that one before.

She must be thin, graceful as a swan, her skin glowing, her teeth perfectly aligned,  her hair the right shade and coiffed perfectly. She must carry her crystal embellished dress and herself with such poise that she makes it look effortless.

I am none of those things, and I think that really frustrates the people around me.

I’m not thin, I’m nowhere near graceful, I’ve got some light freckles on my face and dark circles under my eyes, my teeth were in need of braces years ago but I decided against that because it was purely cosmetic, and I absolutely reject the idea of going blonde as the majority of the brides do.

And poise? Excuse me while I go laugh in the corner.

So, as I said, I feel that this is really starting to get on other people’s nerves because I don’t and refuse to fit the model bride mold.

There’s one lady, for example, who keeps asking me when I will start getting facials because “it’s such a shame that my white face be marked with all those spots, especially because I’m getting married.” Telling her I don’t want to results in me getting some very weird looks and the start of a rant about how that’s so “unbridal.” You’ve also read the stories I’ve shared about salesladies who have picked at my weight because I’m not a size 6!

They’re really starting to get on my nerves and I’m not one to lose my temper.

And this all brings me back to a question we must ask ourselves, what exactly makes someone a bride? Is it the white dress? Is it the tiara? Is it getting swept up in the fantasy? The bouquet?

Or is it quite simply, just a woman who decided to make a lifetime commitment to her partner and happened to take one day out of her life to celebrate with her family and friends and loved ones?

Call me stupid, but I’ll go with that as my answer.

Why must we constantly focus on the appearance? The first question on anyone’s mind during the wedding is how does the bride look? Why can’t the answer to that be “like her usual self?” But then again, there’s such an over-emphasis on the larger than life aspect to the look with all the hair extensions and the tons of makeup so maybe that question is a reasonable one to ask.

At this point in time, I don’t even know where I want to get made up on the day of, let alone worry about facials and indulgences. But what I do know is that beauty professionals aren’t really gaining much by almost insulting the bride to be as they try to impose their idea of what’s right and what’s wrong.

Let’s try to focus on what’s important instead.

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10 Comments Add yours

  1. It is interesting, and frustrating, the craziness that comes with weddings. I know from a groom’s perspective, all that mattered was when my bride stood beside me and said that she wanted to be with me for the rest of our lives. Everything else was background noise.

    1. TK says:

      Beautiful thoughts Russell. Knowing my fiance, that’s exactly how he feels too.

      I think people fail to understand that they are making a commitment for a lifetime not a spectacle for one night!

  2. baliinfoblog says:

    You need to hurry up and get married, and get away from all the crazy wedding hype!! Its clearly driving you insane. I have never understood all the fuss about one day. There should be more focus on the marriage than the wedding!

    1. TK says:

      That’s the way I see things too. I will never understand how people so willingly will spend up to 30,000 USD for one night, just so they can have the princess theme and get to have all the attention on them. I’m more focused on being with the one I love.

      I doubt though that the hype will disappear once I’m married because people love to talk and they’ll always find something to hype around about!

      1. baliinfoblog says:

        true, some people have nothing better to do than to meddle in other people’s lives!!

  3. cupcakeamy says:

    great point! I did my own make-up and hair, because I wanted to look like myself on my wedding day! Wore my hair down. I felt happy and like myself!

    1. TK says:

      How amazing is that! I wish I could do the same but I feel I will be too stressed and unfocused so better to let someone take care of that for me. Now finding someone I trust enough to do that is where the hassle is. Hopefully I will feel like myself as you did on my wedding day.

  4. Uday says:

    I think you should compile all your wedding posts and make a book! A lot of people need to read this stuff.

    1. TK says:

      I just might! Sometimes though I feel like I’m saying the same thing over and over again, just with different words. I guess with the wedding date coming up, there’s gonna be plenty more to write about.

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