Sometimes I feel that certain people don’t think before they speak. You make a simple remark and they’re all over you with their helpful suggestions and advice. I write those in italics because that couldn’t be further from the truth.
I don’t know if it’s cultural or a wedding industry thing but it seems to me that these vendors love to feed on a woman’s insecurities and pointing out all the flaws in her physical appearance. And I really, really, really want them to stop talking to me because I don’t need this nor will I ever agree with what they have to say.
A bride should look nothing less than a princess on her wedding day. Raise your hand if you’ve heard that one before.
She must be thin, graceful as a swan, her skin glowing, her teeth perfectly aligned, her hair the right shade and coiffed perfectly. She must carry her crystal embellished dress and herself with such poise that she makes it look effortless.
I am none of those things, and I think that really frustrates the people around me.
I’m not thin, I’m nowhere near graceful, I’ve got some light freckles on my face and dark circles under my eyes, my teeth were in need of braces years ago but I decided against that because it was purely cosmetic, and I absolutely reject the idea of going blonde as the majority of the brides do.
And poise? Excuse me while I go laugh in the corner.
So, as I said, I feel that this is really starting to get on other people’s nerves because I don’t and refuse to fit the model bride mold.
There’s one lady, for example, who keeps asking me when I will start getting facials because “it’s such a shame that my white face be marked with all those spots, especially because I’m getting married.” Telling her I don’t want to results in me getting some very weird looks and the start of a rant about how that’s so “unbridal.” You’ve also read the stories I’ve shared about salesladies who have picked at my weight because I’m not a size 6!
They’re really starting to get on my nerves and I’m not one to lose my temper.
And this all brings me back to a question we must ask ourselves, what exactly makes someone a bride? Is it the white dress? Is it the tiara? Is it getting swept up in the fantasy? The bouquet?
Or is it quite simply, just a woman who decided to make a lifetime commitment to her partner and happened to take one day out of her life to celebrate with her family and friends and loved ones?
Call me stupid, but I’ll go with that as my answer.
Why must we constantly focus on the appearance? The first question on anyone’s mind during the wedding is how does the bride look? Why can’t the answer to that be “like her usual self?” But then again, there’s such an over-emphasis on the larger than life aspect to the look with all the hair extensions and the tons of makeup so maybe that question is a reasonable one to ask.
At this point in time, I don’t even know where I want to get made up on the day of, let alone worry about facials and indulgences. But what I do know is that beauty professionals aren’t really gaining much by almost insulting the bride to be as they try to impose their idea of what’s right and what’s wrong.
Let’s try to focus on what’s important instead.