I heard the horror stories and I heard the warnings.
Be careful, everyone said. You’re marrying the youngest member of the family!
Which was said to imply that my my future husband was a mama’s boy or that his mother thinks that no girl will ever be good enough for him or love him the way she does. She will never agree to anything I will do because I can’t possibly make her son happy and I will never spoil him and care for him the way she does.
At least, that’s the stereotype.
But you know, stereotypes aren’t the norm and I feel sorry for the people that believe them and go on to spread them.
Let me share with you a few things about my future mother-in-law, a woman I’ve come to love, respect, and cherish as if she was my own mother in a very short period of time.
First of all, from the very first day we met, when I was just the girlfriend, she accepted me and took me in like a daughter. She asked me how I felt about certain things, where I wanted to be in my career, what I enjoyed, what my childhood was like, and all sorts of different questions without making it feel like an inquisition.
When things started getting a lot more serious between her son and I, we actually started talking on a nearly day-to-day basis! And because she doesn’t live here, we actually talked through sending voice messages. Since that point, it’s always felt like talking to a friend. I actually get concerned when I don’t hear from her and elated when the sound of her voice comes through the phone.
Through the whole house-furnishing experience, I have only heard words of encouragement, love, and support from her and his side of the family. We may not be doing what’s conventional in their opinion, but we have their support. And they’ve come to love our place as much as we do. In fact, we wouldn’t have our house if it weren’t for my in-laws!
Their support that manifests itself in asking for pictures whenever we install something or paint a wall or buy something new. And I’m more than happy to oblige because we can’t take them to see it every weekend and their comments mean so much to Ahmad and I. It’s such a simple thing but it truly goes a long way!
She’s not a woman of many words, but she doesn’t hold back either. When she doesn’t like something, she will say it, but never in a way to hurt anyone’s feelings. Her thoughts and comments always come out of a place of love and genuine concern.
She’s also an amazing cook! I previously wrote about how she gave me a notebook full of family recipes. Here is a picture I found of a feast she tirelessly prepared:
It couldn’t be further from the truth that because he’s the youngest, he’s spoiled or his mother thinks no one could be good enough for him. I see the opposite of that every single day. I hate how the media and the overall society never shows that good relationships can exist between mothers and daughters in law. It’s time we changed that thinking!
There’s mutual respect among us and I’m always made to feel like a part of a family. And isn’t this one of the things that marriage is all about after all? Families?