My Mother’s Advice on Dressing Like A Married Woman

There are some topics in my house that are never laid to rest. Even when I think that it’s over and done with, they keep coming back- normally at times when I’m most tired and don’t want to talk about it.

Of those topics is the one about the jehez. This subject will just not let up and I am exhausted. To this day, it is still beyond me why I should dress up differently because I’m married.

Of course, she believes that a married woman should be presentable and uphold her position in society because she is no longer a little girl and must represent her new family and husband in the best way possible. That’s what she was taught and that’s what she will pass onto her two daughters.

I, on the other hand, prefer comfort over style. My job requires me to be on my feet the whole day so my outfits are tailored according to that. My hair is never done (most of the days I don’t even bother with combing it) and I can do my makeup in under 10 minutes. I spend a good chunk on my income on clothes but only because I exhaust them so much.

Now of course certain occasions require certain types of dress, and I have some pieces in my closet just for that.
But because I am going to be a Mrs,  my mother has come with the following list for me to keep handy for organizing my closet in this new state I’ll be in. What she fails to see is that I could’ve benefited from this advice long before I met my fiance or decided to get married.

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This is word for word by the way. Maybe this way she’ll know I’m listenting to her? I still fail to understand what circumstances require me to have a more “decent” nightgown. If people are coming over, I am definitely going to put on clothes- the good kind.

I don’t want to come off as cynical because this is actually good advice. I often have trouble finding out what to wear because I dress according to my mood as well and everything gets mixed up. I only wish it had come earlier.

Of course suggesting I should get all dressed up to go to someplace super casual like Em Nazih or similar cafes and places is where this stops making sense. These places were made to be frequented while being comfortable and relaxed. I mean, we go to Em Nazih to compete in quiz night!

I can’t wear my sparkly heels to a gathering where everyone is going to sit around drinking Almaza from the bottle, just like I won’t be wearing my sneakers to a dinner out with my in-laws (although I think the fiance would like that).

Any suggestion built upon impressing other people before my own comfort is where I need to draw the line. And that’s not something easily accomplished in a society obsessed with status and appearances. Unfortunately for me, my mother seems to believe that wholeheartedly – and I’m really nowhere near pleased.

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. danblogs994 says:

    What an interesting post, especially the bit about how identity and clothing seem to shift depending on who / where you are. Do you ever find it to be a restrictive entity in your life, this idea of ‘proper’ clothing, or do you just think of it as something useful to refer to?

    1. TK says:

      I don’t actually look at it as restrictive because at the end of the day, I’m going to wear whatever I want and behave however I want to (though I’m fairly conservative myself in the way I dress and act). So I’m seeing this piece of advice and how it keeps being thrown at me in more of a laughing manner and generational differences, so why not 🙂

  2. HumaAq says:

    I agree, why would people and society decide even what we wear and how we look. Fortunately, my family never objected me on how should I be dressed, But I have seen girls not allowed to wear red until married. It’s saddening. You should be your own identity. Maybe you can understand the underlaid idea of decency when in front of certain people but what color and attire is necessary should not be imposed. Coming from your mother, it’ll be hard for you to dismay her wishes, but what you are and how you will stand your ground will effect your children especially if it’s a girl. Good luck dear

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