Wardehofplein 15C: If I Could Go Back Again

I can still smell it: that mix of home cooking, cleaning detergents, shampoos, beauty products, and something I can only describe as freshness, probably from my roommate’s freshly made coffee.

 It’s been three years since I’ve moved out of that apartment, Wardehofplein 15C, but that smell still lingers faintly to this day. And why would it not? After all, this the place of many adventures and friendships and heartbreaks, and the first place that I could call my own, away from my family and the security of home for the very first time.

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By Lebanese standards, it was tiny. But to call it tiny would be unfair to its significance.

Sure, it had a tiny kitchen, a tiny toilet room that I called Narnia, and a tiny balcony, but it was big enough to accommodate three girls who were once strangers and gave each one of us her own space.

I had the biggest room- call it luck or the fact that I arrived first to the city of Maastricht, on a beautiful day in August 2011.

This room was nothing special: a standard single bed with what I would later discover, the most uncomfortable mattress ever manufactured, a large desk with a backache inducing chair, a standard issue bookcase, and a standard closet- all in a non-distinct standard color of brown wood.

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Slowly, I began to make it my own. The trinkets and photographs that once hung up on my bedroom walls in Beirut now hung proudly all around this room in Maastricht, alongside new trinkets and photographs and notes from courses- a reminder of where I came from and where I wanted to go, who I was and who I wanted to be.

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Slowly, I started feeling at ease with this place, even calling it home.

Every time I would look out of my bedroom window, I’d breathe and take it all in. The scene was unlike anything I had ever seen anywhere else: green, nature, quiet. Like it had come out of a painting and manifested itself right before my eyes. And if it happened to be raining or snowing? Then I would just plaster myself against the window, watching this scenery become even more beautiful.

But that process didn’t just happen overnight.

I cried myself to sleep every day for the first two weeks. I was baffled by this new country I had just gotten to, I wasn’t sure I would be able to undertake this masters program I had signed up for, I was scared of not making any friends because everyone seemed so sophisticated and advanced and just very different. Also, I cried because there was no air condition in my room and that concept was too unfamiliar to me.

It got better- I adjusted to the city, to the university, to the people. I made sure I was never alone in Wardehofplein 15C ,and if it had to be the case, then I had music on. Or I moved to the living room and turned on the TV. I had my shampoo bottles and personal products scattered around the flat and walked around in my beat-up nightshirt like it was no one’s business.

When I came back to Beirut that December, I was anxious to go back to the Netherlands because my parents’ house didn’t feel mine.

I was an intruder for two weeks, sleeping in my old bed, in my old room, that did not smell like Burberry Summer, my perfume of choice that year.

In Wardehopflein 15C, I learned to cook for the very first time.

In that tiny kitchen without basic amenities such as an oven and a freezer, I experimented, making dishes I had known my whole life and trying new things. The more I cooked, the better the house smelled.

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So I persisted. I burned some dishes, like microwavable lasagna, but that only seemed to enrich the smell of the apartment, making it more and more familiar. I stocked the shelves with all my favorites so that I could make a meal at any moment. I even had zaatar from home to make sandwiches for guests (and that was a success every single time).

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Then there’s that joint dining room/sitting room that the three of us shared and the reason why you can’t call the place tiny.

Because it could always hold more people than we ever expected it. Let alone those massive windows that had a view to die for.

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Like when I had that crazy idea to host a Lebanese night for over 20 people. We thought the place would simply not fit, but after we pushed the furniture around, it ended up being the location to one of my most favorite memories. We danced, we ate, we sang, we took photos all night long- and no one felt uncomfortable.

And that wasn’t a one-off incident. Through the year, there was always someone over, and they enriched the space in ways they can never imagine.

Their stories and experiences only served to make the place bigger than it actually was- and that made me truly happy.

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Wardehofplein 15C is not a place I can forget easily, just like the city of Maastricht is not a place I can ever forget. I could probably write all the posts I can to describe my experience and still not come close to how I truly feel.

Just like I started the year, I ended it crying myself to sleep. Not because I was scared or anxious about not having AC, but because I did not have the heart to leave the very first place that I could call my own.

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21 Comments Add yours

  1. Thank you for sharing your memories and experiences of the time spent in your apartment. What a wonderful time of newness and learning and living!

    1. TK says:

      Thank you for reading! A lot of the time, I find myself wishing that I could go back to that time of newness as you described it

      1. Atina says:

        Hi, what a nice story!
        I live at wardehofplein 15c for 2,5 years now. It’s nice to see the pictures of how it before en to knie who lived there 😉

        1. TK says:

          Wow Atina! I’m glad you liked the post and my story of the place. I hope it’s been kind to you as it was for me. Do you also have the same room that I had? That would be funny!

          I would love to see how it looks like now. Can you send me some pictures of it to beyond.beirut31@gmail.com?

  2. I enjoyed reading this! Hopefully you found that being without air conditioning wasn’t so bad after all. 🙂

    1. TK says:

      Thank you so much! Yes after the initial shock went away, it turned out to be just okay 🙂

  3. artman413 says:

    That was beautiful, and reminded me of the first time I left home to go to university.

    It’s funny how quickly a strange place can become familiar, and how you can feel like a stranger in a place you’ve known all your life.

    Thank you for that trip down memory lane!

    1. TK says:

      Aww thank you for reading! You phrased the sentiment perfectly.

  4. desleyjane says:

    Beautiful, you clearly have an emotional connection with this place, it really comes through.

    1. TK says:

      Thanks, I’m glad I was able to convey that

  5. True feelings of moving to a new/ completely different place. I am just wondering if you originally had the idea of writing this post when you first took the pic of your room before you made it your own? Just curious 🙂

    1. TK says:

      Hi! Well, originally this blog was meant to document my experiences of living abroad but I never followed through with it. So yes the idea was there. But I also took these pictures to show the people at home what it looked like.

      Thanks for reading!

      1. It was an interesting piece. Enjoyed it.

  6. e says:

    Morning…
    You painted the picture very well with your words and I enjoyed the photos as well!

    e

    1. TK says:

      Thank you! I’m glad I take pictures of everything, I always feel like they enrich the posts

      1. e says:

        Good stuff! Your blog is fascinating lol! Really looking forward to checking out more posts when time permits.

        e

  7. A.B Mood says:

    The way you beautifully described this wonderful apartment made me feel like I’m actually physically taking a tour with you 🙂 Your love for this place is truly heartwarming ❤ Lovely post, lovely pictures 🙂

    1. TK says:

      Aww that’s so sweet of you to say. It is truly the people that made the place what it was. And now that I’m moving into my own place soon I guess this was just the perfect post to write

      1. A.B Mood says:

        I’m sure you’ll make even more beautiful memories in your new home 🙂 ❤ You have my best wishes and prayers ^_^

  8. Amy Sampson says:

    Wonderful story. You brought back memories of the very first place I shared with “strangers”.

    1. TK says:

      Thanks for reading! I have plenty of stories to tell about those strangers too… maybe one day I’ll get the chance to

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