Life is funny and unexpected in how it can bring back people into your life for reasons and in ways you just don’t understand. And in places you don’t expect.
I won’t get into too much details, but earlier today, I met with an old classmate of mine, someone, who despite everything, still lingered in my memories of days that have long since gone. It had been almost four or five years since I last ran into him, but then again, between going abroad and studying and working, who has time for anyone? The fact that the meeting happened was just past my control and expectations.
This is someone who I’ve known for over half of my life: from the very first day I started at that school to the day we graduated side by side ten years later, and then on Facebook for the years that followed that.
Was I anxious to see him again? Definitely. I get anxious when I see people from graduate school or college so imagine if this was someone you knew from the 3rd grade?!
Don’t we all want to come across as accomplished and successful and doing something with our lives, especially in front of people who have seen us at our worst sometimes?
I know I do. I guess I had a lot to prove to myself first and foremost.
You see, I wasn’t the most lovable or the prettiest or the smartest or even the joker of the class. I wasn’t irrelevant either, but I didn’t have any memorable qualities to me, except maybe I was the one that liked to read more than socialize, the one that was bullied and picked on and barely had any friends.
Then I went onto college and my life significantly changed. I developed self-confidence, I excelled at my studies, I didn’t feel like a loner anymore and did not let anyone bully me. I even lived abroad for a while. I’d like to think I had come a long way.
And now I’m in a good position of responsibility at work and I’m getting married- all of this in under 10 years since finishing high school.
On my way to seeing him, I actually had to take a deep breath and remind myself: I am smart, accomplished, successful, beautiful, and loved. Who I was eight years ago is not who I am today. What they said about me then did not and does not apply at all.
But you know what, I was anxious for nothing.
It felt like coming home, a piece of my childhood that I had gotten back just by talking to someone who had been through it all. And I felt excited, happy to have renewed the connection and looking forward to seeing him again for a longer chat.
As we talked about how our school made us who we were and instilled in us the confidence and skills we need to become who we are today, we brought up names of our old classmates and what they are up to.
I was full of a warm fuzzy feeling because everyone seemed to be in a much better place- not just me- and had moved onto big things, whether careers or families.
And I truly felt happy for everyone. We all deserve it: being grown up and being happy. The process is scary enough as it is.