The Wedding Planner of My Nightmares

Remember when I said the wedding industry isn’t really doing much to endear itself to me? Well it seems to be a continuing trend, if yesterday was any example.

My well-meaning mother had set up a meeting with the wedding planner of a family friend’s daughter. She seemed to be impressed by his work and thought it would be a good idea to meet him. Plus, maybe he could give us a special price?

I wasn’t super enthusiastic about it but I said, sure why not. What’s the worst that could happen?

September 2014, Malta

Well for a fact, this gentleman completely picked at every single one of my ideas for my wedding, leaving me questioning if I’m the anomaly. It didn’t help either that he seemed to be more interested in his cigar than whatever I had to say.

Listen guys, never ever ever ever pick a wedding planner whose ideas do not align with yours. You are hiring this person to be your eyes and ears during this process so you have to make sure they’re on your side- not be selling you their agenda because it is easy for them to do or because its their definition of nice.

The first thing this person did when I mentioned the date was in late September and we’re on a strict budget was suggest a hotel with a tiny, stuffy ballroom that’s underground. I shot that idea down. I do not want an indoor wedding.

It was his his opinion that instead of risking rain, we’d book a place indoors (but having an outdoors location) then move outdoors should the weather be good. He then proceeded to show me one of his events at his suggested location. And you know what? It sucked! It was so tiny to the extent that I had to ask him where the dance floor was, and we he pointed it out, I nearly laughed because you can barely move. So I don’t know if his earlier suggestion of the ballroom was a better option in this case!

Nice but not my thing. December 2013, Beirut.

Still, playing along, we asked him how much would such set up cost and he gave us a rather high price that turned out to only cover renting the hotel and the food, but nothing to do with light, sound, chairs, or anything else. For his services and everything else, we would have to at least double the amount.

Next, when I told him we had 100 guests, he gave me a look that could only mean this really isn’t worth my time. According to this guy, he is unaware of locations that are both outdoors and can host that number.

When we asked him what he meant, he said that he only knows big locations that are definitely going to be beyond our budget and anywhere we go, the weather is going to be horrible- so he would rather not risk it. He proceeded to think the whole meeting of locations but could not come up with anything because he just doesn’t deal with those things. And he was too busy almost attacking us for wanting a location outside of Beirut.

Sorry Mr. but I cannot change my wedding date or preferences to suit your needs. It was already tough to choose without your unhelpful interference.

And if that wasn’t enough, he started boasting about how he was such a perfectionist and how he barely ever charges under $ 8,000 and how he takes control of everything should we decide to work with him. Then he proceeded to belittle people who choose to marry from outside their sects or beliefs because of some saying his father-in-law constantly repeats. I was yawning at this point.

Maybe it was his way of retaliating to what I said about how I think spending so much money on massive floral arrangements only to throw them the next day is insane. Maybe he hated that I wanted such a simple approach, or maybe he’s just too stuck in the old mold but I just hated the way he was talking to me, like I knew nothing and that whatever I had in mind just would not be worth it.

Long story short: I completely disliked him and will not be using his services for the wedding. I already feel bad and anxious as is and do not need someone to bring me down further because of his grand stereotypical vision of what the wedding should be. I would also like to make it clear to him that he should really work on his sales pitch because that’s clearly lacking. You cannot do that…

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